Thursday, March 4, 2021

Biking (happy and annoying stories)

 I was able to go biking with friends three times in the last week or so.  Its a pretty great social distancing activity.  One day we did a loop out near Free Union and had great weather. Two days later we biked from my house down away from Chris Green Lake and yesterday we biked around Chris Greene and UVA Research Park. The last ride we did was freezing!  We looked at the weather the night before and it said 30 degrees which is cold but fine.  When I checked it the next morning it said 28 feels like 22.  I texted her and confirmed going before I checked the weather, brrrrr. It was so cold but we have plenty of hills around here to warm us up.  I really enjoy it and was happy we could meet to go. 

Wesley Chapel Loop

April, Laura and Jaclyn 


Soon it will be all green! 


Jaclyn and April 

Spring Hill/Dickerson







Chris Greene/ UVA Research Park 






Biking Story: 

 Last week we met up with friends to bike at the church.  As we were leaving I suggested to this friend that maybe our boys would like to ride their bikes to our house together?  She and I would drive ahead, park at different spots and sort of leap frog each other so we could keep an eye on them to make sure they were safe and didn't need anything.  The boys were on board and we started out.  From the church to our house is 2 miles.  This road does not have a bike lane but it also doesn't have a lot of traffic and we both felt the boys would be safe and we would be following along to make sure everything was fine.  Everything went well until a concerned citizen decided they should not be riding their bikes on the road.  She turns her hazard lights on and starts following them.  About 3 cars back up behind her.  Two turn onto the first street so its just her, one car, me and my friend all in a row.  The second car gets increasingly irritated at her driving so slow that he swerves around her and speeds off.  She gets even closer to the boys.  We reach our driveway and she pulls into our cutout at the top as the boys pull into driveway and I pull into driveway after them. 
She gets out of her car and comes down to give me a piece of her mind.  She can not believe that I let these boys ride their bikes on that street. I cannot believe that she felt the need to get out of her car and lecture me for 5 minutes about my parenting choices.  I can't believe I let her.  Why didn't I tell the boys to go down to back deck and get away from her? They didn't need to hear her. Why didn't I stick up for them more?  Why didn't I tell her to leave?  It was particularly frustrating because my friend and I made a safety plan.  We knew they boys could do it and wanted them to go on a fun independent ride, somewhere besides a parking lot and she made it much more unsafe.  If she had not been following them so closely the car would not have swerved around them.  It would have safely passed them.  A lot of bikers bike on this section of our street. She said that the last one was swerving into the road too much.  He was (and very little from what I saw) because he was nervous that a car was following him so closely.   I don't know how many times I tired to talk about the plan my friend and I (the parents) had come up with and that I knew she (this stranger in my driveway) was just concerned about their safety but I felt like I didn't get a chance to talk at all.  I knew I wasn't going to change her mind and she was not going to change mine.  It was a classic moment of me not being assertive enough and thinking of the right things to say in the moment. I have spent plenty of time thinking about it since then. After she finally left, we checked in with the boys.  We made sure they knew they did nothing wrong and let them talk about how they felt.  It was so frustrating that it ended this way.  Is it the best road to ride a bike on? No.  I tried to put myself in her spot and I know I would not have felt the need to address the parent. I may have followed them to see if they made it somewhere safe but I honestly don't think I would have done that and I know I would not have felt the need to lecture anyone's parent about it.  If the boys were in the middle of the road or goofing off I would have felt more compelled but they were being very safe.  They did everything right.  Later that evening I texted my friend because I felt so bad about it and she said. " The boys are fine and I would do it again." My kind of people.  A she left she made the comment, "shows what is wrong with our world, that three boys can't even ride their bikes home together." It is nice that this woman cared (I guess) but I do not feel she helped in anyway.  She made it unsafe.  She could have asked the boys if they were okay, or had parents near by but she just stressed them out.  They could not figure out why she didn't just pass them.  As she lectured me she even commented "I can see I am really irritating you" (she was) and then she just kept going. Why didn't I just walk away with the boys? I told my sister this story and she said "that is when you use your words and say, "You need to leave." ".  She also suggested I teach these kids the middle finger but I don't plan to go that route. 

I took this as they rode past me as I was parked on the side of the road watching to make sure they were safe and good. 

The past weekend we went back to the church to ride bikes, just our family.  I asked Jared if he wanted to ride his bike home and he said yes. So he did and I meanly thought I sure hope that lady comes by and sees him. And sees me patiently watching to make sure he is safe.

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